Afraid of yourself…?

Photo by Joshua Sun on Unsplash

As a kid, I was always scared of going inside the house by myself at night especially when I used that old lantern.

But there was something different about this particular fear.

I wasn’t afraid of the dark or the horror movies I had seen a few days back; I was afraid of myself.

Yes! I was sore afraid of my own shadow.

That old lantern was like a magnifying glass; it enlarged every part of my body.

My legs alone would cover the entire wall of our sitting room and my waist up to my head would be on the ceiling.

I was like a giant and the sight of my shadow sent chills to my bones.

My mum, on the other hand, would always send me into the house, into the dark to get something for her. Left to her, the lantern she gave me would provide light for me to see clearly.

She never knew that what was supposed to protect me from the dark was literally the source of my fear.

I was afraid of myself…

This same fear manifested when I was in secondary school. I was brilliant and had good results. I wasn’t excellent but I was very good.

One day, I was summoned by the panel responsible for appointing prefects but I declined the offer.

I was afraid of myself. How would I cope with this new position? Would I deliver? Was I even good enough?

The panel thought they were giving me an opportunity to lead, they never knew that I was afraid of myself.

This self-fear kept on going on and on until I made a decision to deal with it.

I made myself realize that I am more than enough and whatsoever anyone can do, I can do better.

Today, I can face any challenge and take up responsibilities entrusted to me to the best of my ability. I believe that I must not be perfect to do anything as I can learn on the job and grow with the process.

Have you ever been in a position where you were given an opportunity to do something that you are really good at but you were afraid of underperforming or letting people down? Then you are afraid of yourself.

What is the solution to this? It is simple. Believe in yourself because what you possess is more than enough.

Make all decisions with boldness.

Don’t care about what people might say; they might not even say anything negative but positive to boost your spirit.

If anyone offers you an opportunity that seems bigger than you, take it. There is something that a person offering you an opportunity has seen in you, don’t let the person and yourself down.

You are more than enough.

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I think, I research, I write.

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David Akeju

David Akeju

I think, I research, I write.

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